This is a sequel to Sunny Side Up. Comments on this story can be sent to: TazzyJan@aol.com
Sometimes The Fool
Do you mind if I stand while I talk? This chair is really...hard. Man, my partner is hung like a horse. Now you see why I'm so nervous about penetrating him. Don't get me wrong. Making love with Starsky was one of the most intense experiences I've ever had. It was soul shattering. I wouldn't change a second of it, not even the pain.
Which brings me to my problem. It did hurt. At first it was a burning sensation, then it was just this gut deep kind of pain that made my muscles tremble. And I know Starsky wasn't being rough. Hell, he was being as gentle with me as he could. Makes me wonder how excruciating it could have been if he'd rushed it. I can't imagine what it would have felt like if he'd just rammed it into me.
Not that Starsky would ever do that. In all the years I've known him, I've never known him to be rough with a lover. Even one he was mad at. He's just not that way. He tried to stop when he realized he was hurting me, but I wouldn't let him. I think the only reason he went through with it was because he knew how much I wanted to. That's another thing about my partner. He'll put himself through hell just to please me.
There's something I want to know, though. How is it that my partner can get me to tell him my innermost thoughts just by looking at me? All he did was stare at me and he had me telling him my fantasy. Not that I regret it. It's just damn annoying at times.
Anyway, he got me to tell him then he proceeded to lead me into my kitchen and play the whole damn thing out. When he first breached my body it was all I could do to stand there and take it. Like I said, it hurt. But it was so much more than that. I mean, there I was, Ken Hutchinson, and I was being fucked by a man. I was letting another man slide his cock inside my body so he could get off.
I actually came within a hair's breath of panicking. Then I thought about just who was sliding their flesh inside me. I thought about the fact that it wasn't just any man I was bending over for. No, it was my partner. It was Starsky. And for him, I'd bend over and let him shove his whole fist inside me, if that's what he wanted.
I managed to relax then, the panic dissipated. That's when he slid the rest of the way inside me and completed me in a way I never dreamed possible. Now I've always known I was missing something. I've always known that something integral was missing from the make-up of one Ken Hutchinson. It's not hard to see. Lots of people have noticed it over the years. Most of them take a hike as soon as they do. Not my partner, though. He stood by me and was proud to do it. I am one lucky bastard.
However, I digress. As I was saying, I've always known that I was missing something important. I just never thought my partner shoving his cock up my ass would give me that something. But it did. Finally, at last, I was whole. And when he came inside me, when he filled me with his seed, it was the happiest moment of my life.
That little fact really threw me. I always thought that was somehow degrading to a man, to have another man come inside him. I was wrong. There was nothing degrading or humiliating about it. It was all love and trust and lust and heat. And the wonderful knowledge that I had brought my partner such joy with my body that he came inside me. Talk about a power trip. I felt ten feet tall.
So now I don't know what to do. I want Starsky to experience the same thing I did. I want him to have that. He wants to have that. But I don't know if I can bring myself to do it. He tried to get me to last night but I wimped out on him. I ended up taking his mouth instead.
Don't misunderstand; having Starsky take me into his mouth was earth shattering. The feel of his lips and tongue, the sharp nip of his teeth, the vibrations on my cock when he moaned, it was pure bliss. And the look on his face when he swallowed my come was enough to tempt a saint.
Hell, I was still so hot by the time he was finished that I tried to get him to fuck me again. Me, whose ass is so sore he can't even sit down and all I could think of was how badly I wanted his cock rammed back up there. Thank God one of us was thinking. I got a very firm no, which hurt my feelings to no end. When he started to take himself in hand, I figured I'd better do something.
So I did what he'd just done. I took him in my mouth. He wasn't expecting that and he bucked up hard before he could stop himself. That was okay, though. I was ready for it. I made damn sure I gave as good as I'd gotten and by the time I was finished my partner was a little pile of goo.
With more coordination than I thought possible, Starsky pulled me up to lay beside him and proceeded to try to suffocate me with his tongue. I could taste my come in his mouth and I knew he could do the same. That really set us off and we spent the next little while exploring each other's mouths.
When we were finally just laying back relaxing I asked him why he didn't take me again. He laughed and said he had no intention of hurting me and that there was no way I was ready for that again. I snuggled down against him when he said that. It made me feel warm inside to know how much he cared for me.
He then told me that he had absolutely no intention of taking me again until I'd returned the favor. He said he knew it hurt like hell when he'd done it to me and he wasn't doing it again until he knew for certain what it felt like.
So now I'm stuck. I want to feel him inside me again. I really do. I want it so bad I ache for it. Because even though there was some pain there was also the most incredible pleasure I'd ever known. When he slid inside me, it felt so good...so right. I would've cried if I could've, but I was in too much shock to even do that.
It was the most primal of acts, what we did. And it joined us in a way that nothing else ever has. I've never felt so thoroughly possessed by a lover. I never will again. Even if I had a hundred other lovers, none would ever touch me to the depth that Starsky has. Not that I plan on having any other lovers. He's it for me. He's "The One". I wonder how he'd look in white lace?
He's branded my soul, you see. He's put his mark inside my body, scalding my insides with his essence. I belong to him completely now. He's always had my heart and my mind. Now he owns my body and soul as well.
I guess, considering everything I've said, I'm being really selfish. You would think I would want Starsky to feel all those things I felt. And I do. I guess I'm just afraid. After all, I nearly panicked as it was. What happens if he does? I don't think I could handle that rejection. Not that he'd mean it as a rejection or anything, but I know how it would make me feel. And I don't think I'm ready for that.
But he's made it perfectly clear that there will be reciprocity in this relationship. He has no intention of using me, and that's exactly how he would see it. Even if I did consider it an almost religious experience. He went through with it the first time because he didn't want to disappoint me. He won't cause me pain again without knowing what it feels like first hand.
All in all, I guess I don't have a choice. I really do want him to feel what I felt. I really do want him to know what it's like to be joined like that. I really do want to possess him, like he possessed me. I want to love him and hold him and slide myself inside him so deep he'll think I'm going to come out his mouth. That's what it felt like for me. Like he was in me so deep I'd never get him back out again.
Like I'd ever want to.
You see, I love him. With everything I have, I love him. David Michael Starsky. And I swear I will love, honor and cherish him for the rest of my life. Hell, I'll even promise to obey him, I trust him that much. He is, quite simply, the best man I know. And he's damn sure the best thing that's ever happened to me.
So it looks like I'll be taking him after all. Even though I'm scared. But he was scared, too, and he still did it. For me. Because he loves me. But when I do take him, it won't be bent over a table, or anything else for that matter. It'll be in a nice, soft bed where I can take my time and make him feel better than he's ever felt before.
Then maybe I can convince him to keep his promise about bending me over his kitchen table.